Scammers! Be careful and watch out!

Here is some of my knowledge about scams based upon my experience operating the Russian Meeting Place, and my numerous correspondences with both Russian women and Western men.

"More and more men are looking for a bride in Russia and a lot of them were a victim of Internet scams...More and more money is flying away across the ocean from the pockets of foreign men   :)".

Read this information to help protect yourself from becoming a victim of the unscrupulous who exist in all countries and walks of life!  I'm going to share information with you based upon my experience:

Yes, every man who is interested in meeting a Russian bride has heard about Internet scams. Nowadays, dating and personals sites unfortunately have scammers who operate like hungry fish. Sometimes I think "does this difficult economic situation drive some people to this, or is this just an easy way of earning money on the Internet?"

The Internet today gives a lot of opportunity to people: to buy things, communicate, look for friends, find a second half and even, for some people, to earn money. Some women are so modern and professional with technology (even though the fact is that just 20% to 30% of Russians know how to use a computer and the opportunities of Internet) and "she" decides to try this kind of “virtual” relationship with a foreign man. They think "Why not…..?????" It’s very easy and for some women feel that it is even a form of amusement and entertainment. Some of them already have purchased cars, apartments, visited many different parts of the world, received expensive diamonds. Some professional scammers deal with hundreds of people and make really good money and improve their life at "your" expense. Of course, I am trying to  exaggerate this a little bit, but believe me, many men have lost some amount of money and received heartache and disappointments in this kind of way of meeting a wife.

Yes, every agency gives advice to not send money "Never Ever" before meeting, and I REALLY agree with this. A lot of men say that "I trust her and we have very romantic, sincere communication almost every day for the past 2-3 months. She is honest and she is the best…."

In my job in which I regularly perform translations, I try not to be involved in any personal communications and circumstances, because my job is to translate and to remain impartial. But sometimes it’s so easy to see whether a woman wants his money, or she really wants to be together with him.

To be honest, you never know who is under this wonderful picture and what kind of person is typing behind the computer. Maybe she is married and has a happy family in Russia and her income is “your” money, but she "cries" in describing her difficult economical situation in Russia.

The best that you can do to protect yourself from these kind of dishonest people is the great advice of never sending money to someone you have never met. This is the rule. BUT, it sometimes happens that a man has communication with his “Internet girl friend” for some months, her family knows who is he, he has communicated with her by phone a lot, she is waiting for him in her city…..and they ask me what to do?????? Even in this situation, I am saying to you that it’s necessary to be very, very careful. I do not tell you do not send anything at all. No, but at the same time, be careful and do not spoil her :). Maybe you can send her a small amount of money to help your communication and organizing your in-person. But be very careful and make sure that you know each other not just for 1, 2 or 3 months. It will be very pleasant to receive flowers from you-- I do not tell you that you shouldn’t be a gentleman. :) All women in the world like flowers and I can tell you that flowers in Russian are the first present for a lovely woman.  

But- But- But at the same time, when men send a sum of money every month to women, even not a large amount…. after only meeting for 1 or 2 days, and then later determine that they are not right for each other, then a man begins to calculate how much money he spent on his “Internet girlfriend"-- Western Union payments, flowers, presents, tickets to her country and so on. It’s better to save this money after some months of communication by Internet, phone, and after learning about one another, then plan your trip. One meeting is better then 1 or 2 years of communication by emails.   

It’s so funny to hear from men that "Oh, I send her every month $100-$200 (or the different sums of money that I hear), and when I met her, I discovered that she bought a computer, luxury leathers jacket, expensive clothes" and so on. Where did she find the money for these items if her salary is only $50-$120 per month? My answer is: This is YOUR money. You are thinking that she spends this money that you sent on the Internet, but she spends the money on her necessary personal things. Sometimes this has happened, but sometimes a woman really needs help and finances to communicate with you. So Guys, again I do not tell you not help Russian women, but at the same time, be very careful and do not buy her attention and her love through payments by "Western Union". You will be able to find a safe and reasonable way to help her with your communication, to show you care and love.

I wish to tell you that a lot of women who really are thinking about a person and his inner beauty will tell you not to send a lot of money, because first of all, they have to pay taxes on what you send them through Western Union or through a bank. In my past communication with Khashyar before we were married, I told him all the time not to send me money. But, he nonetheless tried to help me and sent it to me. Do you know about the government's tax rules, for example, in Belarus? When you send $100, she has to go to the tax office and pay the Belarusian government 15% to 25% of what she has received. It depends how often you send money and the amount that you sent. The most unpleasant thing that you may never fortunately experience is how often the government will ask your Russian girlfriend or fiancé to come and pay all of the tax money that she owes, because every month the rules change and it’s a very big mess in the tax office. I know this from my own personal experience.

I will give you this example which made me sick….. Khashyar sent me money for my U.S. visa interview in Warsaw and for different expenses for our visa when we definitely knew about our future life together. After moving to and living in America for almost 7 months, my mother wrote to me and informed me that I have to pay tax for the money that I received from Khashyar, because my mother received a special paper that stated that I have to pay. If I did not pay, then my parents would ultimately be responsible for this. It's so stupid, because I'm an adult person, so why should my parents be responsible for my problems. But, if I do not follow the tax rules of the Belarusian Government, then my mother will have to pay for me. They would send a letter to her employer and apply other significant pressure on her….. I’m sorry, but again, it’s so stupid. It means that if you send money as a present or gift to your girlfriend, for example, for her to purchase perfume, then she has to give half a bottle of this to the government.:) It doesn’t matter that you have already paid a fee for the service of sending this money, and that you pay taxes in your own country, but you should also share this money with the Belarusian government. Some women already know about this and they even tell their Western man that before meeting do not send any money, because it will just be a headache. I know that a lot of my girlfriends have a bankcard (ATM card) from their fiancé and occasionally receive whatever funds are needed for the service of translation, for example.                         

I would like to tell you from my experience of working with Russian women and Russian-Western couples, that any scammer will not communicate with you half a year and will not speak by phone directly from her home. Usually, a professional scammer tries to have romantic communication not more than 2 to 3 months, and the content of their messages to you are “I Love you, Miss you, Cannot live without your messages, without you”……something like this. Do you believe in this? If Yes, then you are really mistaken!!!!! Oh, yes, then shortly afterwards, she has an idea to invite you to visit any “sunny’ country and have an incredible, romantic tour somewhere out of her country.  

There are several scenarios that a scammer may use to get you to send her money: 

Here are some very clear situations where you might be the victim of a scam, and what you should do to avoid scammers and solve any misunderstandings:

1. She asks you to pay for her communication 

Paying for communication and correspondence….. A professional scammer usually tries to catch your attention and create your emotional dependence in communication. What do I mean? I remember myself how it was interesting to receive messages and to have communication online. I know, hearing from a lot of men who shared their stories with me, that they open their email box every 20-30 minutes during the day just to check and see if they received any messages from a Russian “Internet” girlfriend. It doesn’t matter if he works, or is on a business trip, or at home. A computer and the Internet is always with him. Sometimes all of his friends know about this charming lady through Internet. After 1 month, this charming lady says that she cannot write very often because she cannot afford to pay for the internet with her budget (there is the cost of the Internet, translator, English classes, etc.) Of course, the man begins to think that he cannot live without her warm and romantic letters and runs to the nearest office of Western Union and sends her $100. He may think that it is the same cost if he invited and took her to a restaurant. Maybe it’s a big mistake. Foreign men think that "I just will help her with her Internet expenses and will send her $100." Believe me, that it will be enough for her, because she may have communication with 3 to 5 men on the Internet or it will be just the beginning of “milking you” for more, because after one time, she will be able to create another reason for the you to send money. Even if she is not a scammer, she might feel confused and unsure of a decision to choose one man among 3 or 5 or even more. Some women receive a lot of messages from different agencies, because if they submit their profiles, it’s at least to the 5 to 10 agencies. So if every client of every agency sends her a message, you can understand that she has a choice. I know one situation from my agency when my woman client sent me a message and told me that she communicates with a man from our agency and he asked her if he can send her some money to help in their communication. She did not accept this money, because, as she told me, she cannot do this right now because she already has communication with 2 men and her level of communication with these men is at a ever deepening stage. After meeting everything will be clear. I know some women  who really are wanting and focusing on finding a good relationship, and it’s the main aim in internet dating. They are even afraid to accept money because some men send $50-$100 to a women with which he communicates with just 2 to 3 months, and afterwards when this communication has stopped because of non-compatibility issues, he sends her letters to a “Blacklist”. But the reasons for stopping communication are different, but one common reason is that some men ask for a serious commitment after 2 to 3 months of communication, and this is unrealistic and impossible. Guys, could you be committed to and promise yourself to someone after just 2 or 3 months? I'm sure that you probably would not! But maybe I’m wrong!  :)  But I know and it’s not a secret that most men and women have communication with a lot of people online, and after careful evaluation they make their choice.

What you should do in this case? Do not send money in the beginning!!!! This is my opinion and I give this advice all of the time to our clients. You should be very patient, and in the beginning of your communication mention that she does not need to write letters to you every day, but for example at least 2 times in a week. So ask her to choose two specific days in a week when she will travel to the Internet café and write you messages. It will be an opportunity to build your communication slowly, to know about one another, and to learn about each other. Tell her that you understand that in Russia, Belarus, and Ukraine, that most people do not have a computer at home, so you understand and appreciate her efforts in writing letters to you. You will be patient because you understand that she needs to go to the Post Office or to write messages at her work, or with the help of her friend, etc. But my advice is to send her messages often, even if she doesn’t answer you every day. Why?.... Because you will win her heart with your attention by writing letters. Usually women write two to three times in a week, but long messages with all the answers to your questions and thoughts from your last letters.    

2. She asks you for English classes and to pay for translations…

A lot of women do not know English, and very often this is a very big barrier between a Russian woman and Western man. Most Russian women just read and understand English text through a dictionary and vocabulary book. And some of them just remember “A,B,C” and “mother, father, sister, brother” (through studying at the basic English courses in Russian schools of English language). Some Russian women did not study English at all and instead learned German or French at school… So it’s very difficult to write letters and understand them, especially if a man writes philosophical letters. :) In the beginning she has to use the translation service that helps to translate and write letters. Usually it’s very expensive in Russia. You should imagine and put yourself in the same situation if you had to write messages in her language. Certainly, most foreign men do not know the Russian language at all, because Russian is not very easy to learn. :) Of course, you had to ask the help of a Russian translator, or your best friend’s Russian wife, because she knows Russian and English very well. :) Let‘s see how often you can ask for help, how much money you can afford to pay for translation services because sometimes one page of translation can cost at least $8 and much more. A Russian woman has the same obstacles in understanding your English letters, and she sends a request for money because she cannot afford herself to pay all of this money for translations as well as for food and other necessities with her $100 per month salary.          

 What you should do in this case? Do not send money for any communication in the beginning! If you are really interested in communication with a lady, in your own country find an opportunity to help write her letters in her (Russian) language. She will really appreciate this. Right now you might feel that "Hey, it will be very expensive communication." However, a lot of agencies arrange for a translation services that do not charge per page. For example, The Russian Meeting Place has a translation service where you can pay for an unlimited month of translations and other options. Some other translation companies also offer a similar service. Guys, why is this the better approach towards communication? One reason is that when you send money by Western Union, you will later need to pay taxes which she will mention to you in the near future. If you send your Russian girlfriend a significant sum of money, you also run the risk of financing her communication with other men. Perhaps some Russian women and owners of agencies will through tomatoes at me, because this may be their income. :) But, but, but….. if you pre-pay for the translation of letters through a trustworthy and reputable service, then you will know that this money is being applied for communication and that there will not be any excuse for not writing and communicating with one another. I have communicated with a lot of men who have really solved their problems with communication because their ladies come to the Internet café and write letters in Russian language and then men translate the letters when they receive them. Guys, use a quality service for translations of your letters. I also advise you not to translate your letters through computer software, because I have had many opportunities to read some of these letters which men tried to translate with the help of computer programs, and you can not even imagine how funny they sound  :). Some of these programs translated perhaps just 5% correctly, and 95% completely incorrectly.    

 3. She asks you for money for a visa 

Without any doubts, I want to say to you to never believe that it is possible to receive a visitors visa, especially to the USA. On very rare occasions, tourist visas are issued to Russian women, but these are very uncommon circumstances. A lot of girls say that they know of a travel agency that issues and applies for visas. But do not believe this, because if it could be so easy, then every couple would pay money and bring their fiancée to America with a travel or student visa. A Fiancé visa takes a lot of time and work for both people, for both the woman and man, so do not believe in such kind of fairytales when a woman tries to assure you in the success of receiving a travel, business, or student visa….. However, I know that some universities have student exchange programs that cost about $1500. It takes one year to receive this kind of visa, and a girl has to know English very well. She will take an exam, and after good results she will be able to receive a visa. But its also not very easy to receive this type of visa.   

What you should do in this case? Do not send money in the beginning! If a lady asks you for money for the visa, let her know that first, that you would like to meet with her in her country, to meet with her family and her friends. Let her know that it’s very important for you to see her environment and at the same time you would like to visit Russia and to learn more about Russian culture. Let’s her know that preparing a fiancée visa is very serious step for you, and as a part of this step, it’s necessary to be sure 100% that you are right for each other. Take time off from your work and life in your country and go to visit her country, because even if your relationship will not have a "successful" conclusion, at least you will have had the experience of having visited Russia, having meet Russian people, having tried Russian cuisine and drink Russian vodka. :)          

I think that the above situations are the most common ones where men lose their money to deceptive and fraudulent communication. My advice is that before you send any money, know the person you are sending it to very well. I am not saying do not help her and do not send money at all. I am saying that it is important to learn about this person, and after you feel comfortable, help to build your communication and relationship. Send her money after meeting, because you will feel secure and more clearly understand whether you are right for one another and are going to ultimately be with one another. But do not try to “buy” her and win her heart by sending money, because sometimes men make this mistake and some women love not him, but the money that he sends. You can show your generousity by sending flowers and some presents. These are some of my thoughts and if you have any questions or specific situation, feel free to post them in our free and active Russian Meeting Place Discussion Forum.